In college I used to fall asleep each night with a book in my face. After classes, studying, and all the activities of being away at university, the time for one of my earliest passions, reading, was dwindled down to the last few minutes of the day. Crawling in bed to a good book is the best, but a page or two in, and I was O-U-T.
Now, what feels a lifetime later, with a toddler, nine months of a nausea, heartburn filled pregnancy, and recently delivering baby #2, the time for my developed passion for writing, is left to a laptop in my lap, me under the covers, babies asleep (for a little while), and me in an exhausted fog from the day.
Two sentences into a story….passed out.
Ok, I’ll get everyone to bed earlier tomorrow.
Ok, I can set my alarm earlier tomorrow to get in some writing time.
Nope. Baby woke up before my alarm.
Ok, I will bring my laptop on our roadtrip to the in-laws, and I’ll have some extra hands to help out. I’ll sneak in some writing time.
Nope. Toddler got sick.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t love to sleep. But I love it, need it, and will take what I can get at night. With a new baby in the house I obviously haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a while and don’t foresee one happening anytime in my future. And of course I laugh every time someone suggests sleeping when the baby sleeps. That is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.
So how and when can I fit in writing?? I work full time (with a commute), have a toddler, a baby, and a husband. It blows my mind how quickly each day flies by, and even that a week or even a month will pass, and I look back thinking, what the heck just happened?
I’m actually getting a little anxiety that I can’t fit in writing; something that I want to do for myself. Honestly though, I am really stuck as to how it can squeeze into the day. When the new baby naps, the toddler, for sure isn’t napping. Our energetic toddler gave up napping at age two! The only nap I can get out of her is in the car. And when we get home from our busy day of work, preschool, daycare, and commute, and there is a little time before I need to make dinner. The energetic toddler is occupying herself with toys in her room (or even an episode of Princess Sofia), and the baby has finished nursing, and has even put herself in a little dreamland, it isn’t time that is focused for free writing. It’s the time for rocking the baby, for playing CandyLand with the toddler. This is our time together. It’s time right before I have to think about dinner, and the strategies for bedtime routine. For those with two kids under the age of two, hopefully you’d agree that bedtime routines are tough! And I don’t know if ‘routine’ really fits the description yet. Every night goes a little bit differently.
But I do know, as much as I love being a mom, I feel even a little bit better when I’ve done a little writing; when I’ve done just a little something for myself. I just need to be realistic, that it’s not going to happen each and everyday. And that’s ok. And this little gift to myself, when I’m able to stay up a little bit later to enjoy the quiet of a sleeping household, makes me feel even more fulfilled being a mom, wife, (and wannabee writer 🙂 )
Ok, so now how does the gym fit in?